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Novelty, Nonsense, and Non-Sequiturs

Taxes Pay for Brilliance

Following the little publicized April launching of ten pipe bombs onto the Internal Revenue Service center in Fresno, California, the local chief of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms concluded from his investigation that,
"I think you can assume it is some kind of message to the I.R.S.," Mr. Vizzard said. "What we're looking at is someone who possibly doesn't like the I.R.S."
Not to be outdone, Robert Tobias, president of the National Treasury Employees Union, which represents I.R.S. workers, said that the bombings, "show how the social and political acceptance of I.R.S.-bashing has helped tip the unbalanced to acts of violence." -- The New York Times.

Caring Mothers Against Live Babies

TV Times recently revealed the reasoning behind TNT's decision to cast actress Cybil Shepherd in the adventure movie "Which Way Home," about an American nurse whose maternal instincts lead her to rescue seven orphans from upheavel in Southeast Asia. Producer Hal McElroy explained,
"I suggested Cybil Shepherd to [TNT]," he said. "Hers was a name that came up really early. I was aware, but not as much as I am now, of her pro-abortion activities and that she was a career mother. She's ideal because she's a mother, and she's politically committed."

Political Berlitz

In "Turning a Phrase," Economist Thomas Sowell offers the following glossary of contemporary political/media terms of note:
"Compassion" = Use of tax dollars to buy votes

"Insensitivity" = Objection to the use of tax dollars to buy votes

"Demonstration" = A riot by people you agree with

"Mob Violence" = A riot by people you disagree with

"A Matter of Principle" = A political controversy involving the convictions of liberals

"An Emotional Issue" = A political controversy involving the convictions of conservatives

"Funding" = Money from the government

"Commitment" = More money from the government

"Proud People" = Chauvinists you like

"Bigots" = Chauvinists you don't like

Battle Hymn of the Emirate

After the Gulf War ended, P.J. O'Rourke reported in Rolling Stone that,
The only Iraqi jokes I've heard, I've heard on the telephone from back home. As a matter of fact, there's only one war joke going around in Saudi Arabia:

What's the name of the Saudi national anthem?

"Onward, Christian Soldiers."

Prooftexts are So Inhibiting

When a special committee of the Presbyterian Church United States, Apostate (PCUSA) recommended that "gays and lesbians be received and accepted as full participant members in the life of the church" and that "any sexual relations in which there is genuine equality and mutual respect" ought not to be automatically condemned, the Associated Press described the committee as,
"affirming Scriptural authority, but says it is viewed in varying ways and there has been a shift away from `prooftexting' specific passages to emphasizing broad themes."

Missing the Big Sale

Prophecy salesman Hal Lindsey, whose upcoming best seller didn't make it out before the Gulf War, noted,
"I lament this rushing to get books out, capitalizing on the moment as if we're in the period of Armageddon, " he said. "If they're clarifying, that's one thing, but some seem to be kind of exploitive."
Lindsey, not one to miss out on a sales trend, also explained, "The Lord is going to have to completely regenerate the ecology after that war."

Child Abuse as a Private Matter

The New York Times summarized the growing trend of parents who allow their teen-agers to engage in sex at home:
Allowing sex at home is a way of protecting their children. If teen-agers are sexually active, the parents reason, they are better off at home than in a place that might not be safe.

"It's not that I think it's wonderful," said a mother of a 17-year-old son in a Chicago suburb. "But I don't want my son and his girl friend hiding in basements or the back seat of a car, getting mugged. I feel better knowing where my child is, so I decided that his room is his territory, his privacy."

Copyright © by Covenant Community Church of Orange County 1991
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